Today was a difficult day for me emotionally. I felt a heaviness in my heart as we walked into the radiation clinic. I know that in the next couple of weeks, this will become routine, but today, it shook me to my core. Sitting in the waiting room, I looked around and Matt and I were younger than everyone there by at least 30 years. What was wrong with this picture? My 35 year old husband is preparing for radiation.
Today, his appointment was to be fitted in the mask once again and get accurate marks onto the mask for where the radiation rays will be directed. The nurse came to the waiting room and called Matt's name. We both got up to head to the back of the clinic. The nurse stopped me and said that I couldn't come just yet. My heart was crushed and my stomach sank. Like a scolded puppy, I turned and went back to my seat. In my defense, I wanted to turn and say, "Wait, we're a package deal. We're a team." It's not that Matt was scared or needed me. I just didn't want him to have to do it alone. With tear filled eyes, I sat back down in my seat, clutched my purse and begin to pray that God's presence would be so evident to Matt.
A few minutes passed and the nurse came back to get me. I walked into the room and Matt was in his mask bolted to the table. It was surreal. It was disturbing. We've decided to document this journey in words and pictures. Not that we are experts, by any means, on radiation, but it has been interesting to hear what people assume. Matt is tightly fitted into his mask. He told me today that he can hardly swallow or move his eye balls because it is so tight. He has to wear this 5 days a week for the next 6 weeks. This is going to be painful and take a toll on his body and I would imagine his spirits. Please continue to pray for strength and encouragement for Matt.